Imaginary Heart
by Pandanoia
Summary: Giftfic for Flipping Sheep. A yaoiful twist on the conversation in the alleyway. AkuRoku


**A/N: I've come out of hiatus to write this Giftfic for the uberly pwnsome Rozzyllyn a.k.a. Flipping Sheep (Go read her fic now!!1!). May your life be filled with much happiness and Yaoi.**

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Disclaimer: I own Kingdom Hearts, that's why I'm disclaiming it.

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Imaginary Heart

To Axel's great annoyance he could not remember his first encounter with the Organization's thirteenth member. First meetings were supposed to be forever engraved in one's mind. It was supposed to be eyes locking across a room, or a hand accidentally meeting another; love at first sight. As he lay on the floor, he tried to reassure himself that his and Roxas' meeting had been one of the previously mentioned scenes. But as Axel laid fading into the darkness, he could not remember their first meeting; no matter how hard he tried. Axel could only remember their last.

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It had been one year earlier. Axel stood in the shadow of an alleyway, glaring at the small stones littering the street. He was happy to be with a moment of peace. The Organization had been in uproar. One of the members had left. 

_"The highest form of treason,"_ Axel whispered the Superior's quoted words into his chest.

Not a single Nobody had ever attempted leaving the Organization after induction. The Organization was a haven. It was the single sanctuary for a Nobody. It was the one chance for all of them to have real lives and companionship. Any thoughts of leaving seemed ridiculous; one might as well condemn himself to a life in the darkness.

But it wasn't the idea of someone leaving the Organization that bothered Axel so much. It was whom it was that left.

When he had first learned, Axel had outright not believed it. He laughed in Xigbar's face, and demanded the joke be stopped when Saix and Luxord played along. It seemed ridiculous. His Roxas wouldn't just leave without a reason; he wouldn't leave without telling his best friend… would he? It was Demyx who finally convinced the redhead that Roxas had truly left. The sitar player grabbed him and dragged him to the former number thirteen's quarters, showing Axel the deserted closet.

Axel had ran from the castle and stationed himself in the alleyway next to the entrance to The World That Never Was. Even The Reckless Roxas wouldn't wander out without a plan. He hadn't left yet. And when he did Axel would be waiting to confront him.

At every slight sound of movement, the redhead's irate gaze would soften to a look of hope as his head whipped up, his piercing green eyes longing to meet blue. After the brief look of disappointment left his face, the intense stare would again grace his features.

For the first three hours this routine continued, until finally a certain keyblade wielder scuffled down the path. After realizing his wait was over, Axel seemed to forget his original purpose and threw himself from the wall and bounded towards the blonde, like a dog greeting his master.

He then remembered himself, stopping no more then five steps away. The short look of delight was wiped off as he was reminded of his mission. Roxas hadn't noticed him yet.

"Axel?"

Or maybe he had.

Roxas turned around slowly, and halfheartedly smirked at Axel's lame attempt to hurl his thin frame behind a lamppost.

Axel shoved himself away from the streetlight, and buried his hands deep into his pockets sheepishly.

If he'd had a heart, it would have been racing.

"Hey Rox, How's life been treating ya? I've been looking for you for ages, I heard some odd things this morning, but you know what? They can't have been true, it's ridiculous. Stupid Xigbar. Bloody deranged pirate. But are you taking some time off? Ya I figured, all you're crap's gone…"

Axel rambled on, trying to explain the uneasiness rising in his stomach. Roxas stared at his best friend, amused.

Axel's imaginary heart slowed, returning to its normal nonexistent pace. He looked up at his friend inwardly begging to be reassured that he was an idiot, a fool for believing the seniors in what was so obviously a bad- humored prank.

His face fell when he did not see a humored smile, but instead a pitying stare. Axel dropped his playful demeanor, narrowed his eyes, and drew himself up to his full height.

"You haven't really left the organization have you?"

Roxas became suddenly infatuated with a crack in the curb nearby. Axel shook his head in disbelief, as his worst fears were confirmed.

"Y-you can't! Th-th-the Organization will destroy you if you desert!" He spluttered. The uneasiness was back.

"I'm not scared of the Superior, Axel. If I'm caught I'll face the consequences." Roxas said softly, not daring to meet Axel's eyes.

Axel was livid. "What? But why? What did the organization do to you to make you leave? Did I do something? If I did I swear I'll never do it again. Tell me please. Let me fix it. Please, Roxas. Please!"

What was wrong with him? He couldn't control himself, he was stuttering and shaking like a scared baby. But he couldn't let Roxas leave.

"No, you dummy, of course it's not you. Jeez calm down okay? You're hyperventilating. I need to take some time away. I just need to figure some things out, got it?" Roxas threw his best friend a fake grin, forcing himself to take it calmly.

"Things? What things?" Roxas quickly looked down, but Axel knew him too well. "It's about the keyblade isn't it? Why are you so uncomfortable with it Rox?" Axel ran a hand thru his hair, pushing it back. They had this conversation hundreds of times.

"The keyblade feeds Kingdom Hearts. When it's completed we can truly live. We'll get real hearts, Rox! Don't you want that? We can feel like normal people, and have normal lives. We can finally love eachoth—"

If he'd had a heart it would've stopped. He'd almost crossed the line. Luckily for him Roxas seemed to not have heard or cared.

"Can't you see what's so wrong with it? We're taking hearts from other innocent people. People with lives. If you had a heart, would you want it taken away? You might be okay with it, but I'm the one taking away their existence! I need to know why, Axel. I need to know why the keyblade chose me!" Roxas had lost himself. He'd expected Axel of all people to agree with him, to understand.

Axel's imaginary heart started to beat again at it's regular nonexistent pace.

"Roxas, you're too soft." He shook a gloved finger at him. "You can't feel compassion. You get what you can gain! If they don't look after their hearts well enough to keep it it's their own problem—" But Roxas had had enough.

Glaring hotly, Roxas whirled around, and began to speedily walk towards the gate.

"You know what? Forget it. I don't know what made me think you could ever understand. I'm leaving. I'm too _weak _anyway." Roxas' voice dripped with scorn.

Axel was horrified. He had completely overdone it. Axel quickly moved to stop him, and quickly caught up with the much shorter Nobody. He skidded to a stop when Roxas suddenly halted, steps before the gate.

"Anyway," Roxas turned his head sideways, speaking darkly, "No one would miss me."

Axel was speechless. Was that what he really thought? Roxas was only two steps away now. One…

_CLANG!_

Axel had grabbed his arm, and roughly slammed him against the gate. He bent down, leveling his face with the blonde's.

_"That's not true."_

Roxas had never seen Axel so angry. For the first time since the beginning of their conversation, Roxas was scared. He squirmed awkwardly under Axel's arms, trying to break free. The pyro glared venomously, breathing hotly into the other Nobody's face. Roxas stared up at him in fear, then confusion when his friend's face softened.

_"I would,"_ Axel whispered into the blonde's hair. Had they not been less then an inch apart, he would not have even heard it. 

Axel grabbed Roxas' head and softly kissed him.

The kiss was not the one Axel had pictured for months. It was short, barely counting more then a simple peck. But it served its purpose.

Roxas began to tremble, but somehow forced down the tears threatening to spill down his eyes. Axel loosened his grip and stared down at the younger nobody. Roxas took his chance, pushed himself out of his prison of arms, and quickly tore out of the gate. Axel hadn't chased him this time. Quickly summoning a portal, Roxas jumped inside. Before the darkness covered him, he finally turned around. Their eyes briefly met, longing and sadness showing in both pairs, for the last time.

Axel watched his best friend fade away. He sunk himself down the black gate, grasping the bars.

And for the first time in his entire nonexistence, Axel was glad he didn't have a heart.

Because imaginary hearts couldn't break.

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**A/N: lovely, lovely angst. I wanted to write a make-out scene, but I don't think it would have fit. Hope you like it! Reviews are much appreciated as usual.**


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